more youth group stuff

A youth group is kind of like a game. A game is only fun if A) the rules are clear, B) everyone knows the rules, and C) everyone follows the rules.

If any one of these is ignored (particularly the last one), the game stops being fun. People stop playing.

It’s even worse if the referees aren’t following their own rules.

Now, I’m not saying you can’t change the rules, but you have to give prior notice and let everyone know the new rule – you can’t just make it up as you see fit. That’s an excellent way to make everyone stop playing.

I try not to complain without offering a new idea, so here goes. Let’s use the dress code – that’s the easiest to get confused, and the easiest to get called out on.

A) Clear rules. You can’t just say “you know what ‘immodest’ is.” That’s crap. The leaders’ idea of immodest, and our idea of immodest, are two completely different things.

Don’t say things like “no short shorts or miniskirts.” What is a miniskirt? What makes shorts “short shorts?” Make a clear, well-defined rule, like fingertip or knee-length. And does the rule change if tights or leggings are worn underneath?

I have no advice for low-cut tops – I have yet to see a good way of measuring that. That will have to be a judgement call.

B)  POST THE RULES. On the door, on a bulletin board, whatever. But make sure everyone knows what is considered inappropriate. This doesn’t only go for dress code. If you want to make a rule, make sure everyone can see what it is.

C) Follow the rules. I am not directing this at the youth so much as the “referees”. The youth can be reprimanded or whatever, the leaders cannot. They are running pretty much wild. And I think everyone will agree, government running wild is a very bad idea. You can’t make up rules. I’ve seen it happen, and it makes Hulk-Hannah very angry!!

Sometimes you just have to put up with something you don’t like, if it’s not a rule.

Oh, and… make sure you know who’s in charge. Someone has to have the final word. Figure this out before the inevitable conflict, not during. If you try to figure out who decides the problem in the middle of the problem, it’ll always be the loudest or the most opinionated.


That is all.


One thought on “more youth group stuff

  1. Vern December 8, 2010 / 8:15 PM


    I love it…

    I don’t what ass my head was buried in when I missed all these posts. These are awesome Hannah. When I first saw that you had a blog and you wrote the first post – I was really excited, but I figured – that would also be your last post… such is usually the case.

    I’m very excited you continued on. You have a gift for a couple of things at least… one is writing. You have a way with words. Two is your point of view – which is mostly your own – and partly a function of the teenage years you’re moving through. No need to say how gifted you are as a songwriter or singer… which you certainly are!

    About the post –

    No two people have similar ideas about everything, and usually not about more that a couple of things. What “immodesty” is to me has changed considerably over the years. Now I’m more conservative about it. I’ll not get into why, any more than saying, there doesn’t seem a point to me being able to see a girl’s chest – if I’m not sleeping with her.

    Who is she trying to impress? What power-trip is she on by exposing it? “Attention” is primary motivator of much of what we do as humans… attention seeking people – are those that don’t have enough going on in their lives.

    Guys that ride Harley Davidsons are, in effect, screaming out at the sound level of a turbine jet engine – LOOK AT ME! NOBODY DID WHEN I WAS YOUNG – SO, NOW THAT I CAN BUY SHIT THAT IS SO LOUD IT’S SCARY – YOU’LL LOOK AT ME NOW! NOW WHO IS THE WINNER?

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